16 Tips for Sharing a Bed with a Partner
Sharing a bed with someone can have its pros and cons
Pros: having someone to cuddle with, possibly achieving that elusive thing called intimacy.
Cons: sweating from the extra body heat next to you, being subject to foghorn-like snores, dealing with a blanket- or bed-hogger, listening to someone hit "snooze" on an iPhone alarm 20 times before getting up.
It's no coincidence that the "cons" list is a little longer: As much as we may love our partners, sharing a bed isn't always easy. It can involve a lot of compromise, often at the expense of much-needed sleep. Unless you're the heavier sleeper, you're bound to encounter an initially adorable sleeping quirk of your partner's that eventually begins to grate. Apart from getting separate beds or transferring yourself (or your partner) to the couch for the night, though, what can you actually do to share a bed and still get the sleep you need?
Ahead, 16 people tell us their genius tips for dealing with snorers and over-enthusiastic spooners. If you struggle with sharing a bed with someone else, take note.
"A very loud AC unit or fan! Oh, and a large enough bed, of course (for distancing purposes)."
"I have 'my' side (the right side) of the bed. If he gets on my side, I will lightly shove him over onto his. My partner also sleeps with a separate blanket and several additional pillows to reduce potential hogging."
"We switch off sides of the bed—the person who's closer to the window will get the streetlamp light in their eyes, which can be annoying. Also, as I'm usually the one who goes to bed earlier, we've covered our night lamps with scarves to mute the brightness for the sleepy one—an oldie but a goodie."
"A king-sized comforter on a queen-sized bed solves the blanket-hogging problem."
"When my best friend from D.C. comes to visit, she sleeps in my bed. I love her, but she snores and rolls over on top of me, so I literally have to push her over EVERY TIME she wakes me up. Good thing she's a good friend, or she would have been exiled by now."
"I use a white-noise app on my phone to drown out the snoring."
"I am always warmer than my husband, so when we go to bed, we basically re-make the bed and pile most of the covers on his side, so he doesn't die of over-air-conditioning.
"Also, my husband snores, so when he starts snoring, I poke him and tell him to turn over onto his side. It actually works most of the time! I also had to train myself to hit snooze less often, because if I'm waking up before my husband, it drives him insane. (I could seriously hit snooze for an hour.) I don't always succeed, but I've tried to train myself to remember that there's a dude sleeping next to me when that first alarm goes off, so that helps me try to force myself to get up."
"A decent night of sleep means one comforter, two separate sheets—it helps avoid one partner...shivering/suffering in the middle of the night."
"My boyfriend and I fall asleep holding and facing each other, or I'm sleeping on his chest and he wraps his arms around me. It's perfect."
"My current partner snores, and that can cause some major issues when I'm trying to fall asleep. Luckily, he doesn't snore when he's on his side, so I always make sure we are spooning when we fall asleep—sometimes it's actually easier if I'm the big spoon, because he won't roll away from me then. Once I'm asleep, his snores won't wake me up, so we don't tend to cuddle all night. But keeping him on his side has prevented many a restless night."
"We invested in a very fancy Tempur-Pedic mattress and can't feel each other's movements. Also, an eye mask is great for when he wants to use his phone and I want to go to sleep."
"My boyfriend has this (sometimes sweet but terribly painful) way of being 'the big spoon.' He usually puts his leg over me. But the problem is that his legs weigh SO MUCH...he ends up cutting [off] my airway (as terrible as that might sound).
"So we compensate for his bountiful leg love by switching it up. Me as the big spoon, and he ends up being the little spoon. I get the sleep that I need, comfortably, and he gets to spread his leg love on the other side."
"Lots and lots of pillows. Since we're both side sleepers, we'll either face each other and support our backs with pillows, or if we're cuddling (I'm the little spoon) I'll hug/straddle a big pillow (little spoon #2) and then he'll support his back with a pillow. All of the extra support makes you feel snug and just drift off." [For the full story, head over to Refinery29!]