They may seem harmless, but every time you send one of these texts, you send your potential bae the wrong message.

By By Markham Heid
Photo: Westend61/Getty Images

Even if you've answered "yes" to the age-old question "should I text him?" (or her!) you have bigger problems to worry about. When it comes to text messages, it's easy to get caught up wondering whether you're sending the wrong message-literally and figuratively. Considering how long texting has been around, it's surprisingly difficult to decide on the right tone and frequency.

And while you probably know that important conversations-whether you're pissed at him or her or ready to talk about your future-should never happen via text, there are other texts you probably shouldn't send in a new relationship.

1. "Looking forward to more nights with you like that."

Alluding to a shared future-however benign your comment may seem-can be startling at the start of a new relationship, says Laurie Davis, founder of and author of Love at First Click. Women are quicker to build up elaborate fantasies involving a future than guys, she says. And any hints of serious commitment could frighten him or her: Wouldn't you be skeptical if a guy sent you this text after the first date

Send this instead: "Last night was fun. Next time, my place?" Focus only on the coming date, and not beyond it, Davis advises. And avoid being too specific-like suggesting dates or times-which can make your love interest feel boxed in. (If you want to take the next step, here's how to go from a casual to a committed relationship.)

2. "Want to meet my parents this weekend?"

Meeting someone's mom and dad is fraught with all sorts of awkward possibilities, especially in the early stages of your relationship, explains Guy Blews, author of Realistic Relationships. Not only does sending him or her this text scream, "I'm really serious about you!", there's really no way for them to say no without starting a fight, Blews adds.

Send this instead: "My parents are in town Saturday, so I may not be able to hang out." If he or she shows any interest in their visit, you could mention that they are welcome to join the three of you for dinner, but leave it at that, Blews recommends. "If he or she values you, they'll be keen to make a good impression on your parents, and that's the person you want them to meet."

3. "Where have you been?"

"Two words," Blews says. "Guilt. Trip." Sending a text like this-or guilting them into anything-will backfire, because it can come off as desperate, he adds.

Send this instead: "Hey, how are you?" If he or she likes you, that's enough to get them to reach back out, Blews says. If they don't reply, then you can send this exact same text a few days later, but only once more. If you still don't hear from him or her, let go and move on. (Related: How to Travel with Your Significant Other Without Breaking Up By the End of the Trip)

4. "We should be Facebook friends."

Davis says this pops up most often with younger women. You probably just want to show your girlfriends pictures of the new guy in your life, but you feel awkward about friending him. The problem? Some guys might interpret this as "She wants to change her status to 'in a relationship' with me," Davis explains.

Send this instead: Take a screenshot of your Facebook page and send it to him with the message, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours," Davis suggests. It's flirtier and seems less like some sort of proposal.

5. "What are you up to?" (Sent anytime after midnight)

If you're looking for a FWB situation, then this one's fine. (In that case, read up on how to have multiple orgasms.) But if you're interested in a relationship, you shouldn't send this text, because it sends all the wrong signals. You might as well text, "Want to have sex?" because they're basically the same message, Blew says.

Send this instead: "I'm wearing something I think you're gonna enjoy." Send this well before 12, and you'll leave him or her wanting more without them assuming you're lonely, horny, tipsy-or all three, Blews says.

6. "Thinking of you."

This could work with your partner of multiple years, but if you send this text to someone you only recently started dating, and you may not realize you're delivering a digital billboard that says you're really, really into him or her-which could frighten them off, Davis warns. This could be too much, too soon.

Send this instead: "Had a great time with you. Let's do it again soon." Before you get serious with someone, dating should be fun. Show you're interested-and loved the date-without giving the impression that you've already started planning your wedding, Davis says. Even if you're already scouting bridesmaid dresses.

Comments (5)

March 4, 2019
i want to say a very big thanks and appreciation to Dr. Keke Odin the chief priest of all spell casters worldwide for bringing back my husband who left i and the kids for almost three months within the space of two days after following all instruction given to me. i am very much grateful for restoring peace in my marital home, and i pray God almighty give you the strength and wisdom to continue helping more people having similar relationship and marital problem like mine. for help you can contact him now through his email and mobile number below Email: Mobile Number: +1 386-336-9876
February 19, 2019
If you’ve ever found yourself laying up at night, chewing your lip and feeling incredible anxiety in your chest because you don’t know if a man truly *loves* you (or is just using you or waiting for something “better” to come along)… Then you need to go watch this presentation and answer the 7 questions it asks right now… =>
January 22, 2019
His secret obsession is a breakthrough program written by relationship expert James Bauer, based on over 12 years worth of research and experience... check the product ;
July 18, 2018
Make a guy fall madly in love with you by appealing to his powerful, secret desire (and IT'S NOT SEX). All men have this desire that stems from both his emotional and biological make-up. Learn how to make him fall deeply in love with you. FREE INFORMATIONAL VIDEO by relationship expert James Bauer:
June 26, 2018
I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is DR_MACK@ YAHOO. COM ★☆★●