Male Erogenous Zones You Should *Def* Stimulate During Sex
Consider this your map to male erogenous zones: how to find them and how to play with them to deliver their most intense orgasm...ever.
It's no secret that female-bodied people have some very specific pleasure points on their body and hopefully, both you and your bedroom bae know just where to touch you for a toe-curling climax. Yet you might be surprised to know that your male partner also has some erogenous zones that — when stimulated — can take their orgasms and your sex life to the next level.
"Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on their passion points," says Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and coauthor of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. "Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive them wild." (Related: The 4 Simple Things You Need for Amazing Sex)
Follow this expert-backed guide to the key erogenous zones for males and then put your new learnings to good use IRL.
Erogenous Zone for Males #1: The F-Spot
How to find it: The frenulum is the spot where the glans meets the shaft on the underside of the penis just below the head, and the concentration of nerve endings here is sometimes compared to the female equivalent of the clitoris. (Related: What to Know About Sex with Circumcised vs. Uncircumcised Penises)
What to do: "When giving oral sex, let your tongue slide over that area," says Cavanah. "With your hands, stroke it with your thumb while you move your fingers around the shaft." To slowly build their arousal, go back and forth between stimulating his F spot and the less sensitive base of the penis.
Erogenous Zone for Males #2: Soles of the Feet
How to find it: "Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do," says Mark Michaels, coauthor of Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. "There's an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot." Pressing on this point, nicknamed the "bubbling spring," may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting your S.O. all hot and bothered. (Want in on the fun? Start tapping into these female erogenous zones for whole-body pleasure as well.)
What to do: Start your foreplay by giving them a foot massage: Have a warm towel ready and then place their feet on a pillow on your lap. Use the warm towel to wipe their feet and get them warm, and then focus on this male erogenous zone by taking your thumb and gently rubbing it around this spot as a transition to a more erotic kind of rubdown.
Erogenous Zone for Males #3: The P-Spot
How to find it: The male prostate gland, which is located about three-quarters of a finger length inside the anus and feels sort of like a walnut toward the base of the penis, is a hotbed of nerve endings — and one of the most powerful male erogenous zones. "It's similar to the female G-spot, and gently massaging this area can give them a powerful orgasm," says Michaels. (Related: I Tried a 30-Day Sex Challenge to Revive My Marriage's Boring Sex Life)
What to do: Your best bet is to talk to your partner outside of the bedroom before you try to finger their anus so they don't get any unwanted surprises (yes, you need consent!). Try bringing it up during a romantic dinner by saying you love making love with them and want to experiment even more. You might say that you heard stimulating their prostate can trigger a really intense orgasm (after all it is one of the key erogenous zones for males) and see if they would be down to try it later on. (More here: How to Have an Anal Orgasm)
If your partner isn't comfortable with you using your fingers to gently penetrate the area, there are other ways to stimulate their prostate. One way to do this is to give some loving to their perineum, or the smooth strip of skin between the testicles and anus. The prostate is internally located between the base of the penis and anus so touching your S.O. on the outside of that area can externally stimulate the gland. "Have him lie on his back with his knees bent and legs spread apart, and then use your fist to apply even pressure to the area with quick vibration-like motions," says Michaels. (Related: The Surprising Anatomical Similarities Between Clits and Penises)
Erogenous Zone for Males #4: Thumb
How to find it: You've got this one.
What to do: Many folks are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals during sex. "If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him," explains Michaels. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of men. "To suck on a man's thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what's to come," suggests Michaels. (Thumbs aren't the only male erogenous zone that calls for some mouth-action — wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Check out these expert-backed tips on how to give the best oral sex.)
Erogenous Zone for Males #5: Gluteal Fold
How to find it: The crease where the top of their thigh meets the butt is a surefire passion point. "It's a sensitive area and could be the reason why some people like being spanked," says Michaels.
What to do: Ease into it slowly. "Use your hand to stroke him, run your fingernails over the area, then build up to a gentle slap," says Cavanah. Or, when they're lying on their stomach, try kissing a trail down their back, over the buttocks, and then gently nibbling along this fold and flicking it with your tongue before moving on to the inner thighs.
Erogenous Zone for Males #6: Sacrum
How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of the spine in between the hips (think: the small of their back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to their down-there parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.
What to do: Have your partner lie on their stomach and give them a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along their sacrum. "Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm," explains Michaels. (Related: How to Achieve Multiple Orgasms In 7 Steps)
Erogenous Zone for Males #7: Nipples
How to find it: Again, you know where to find these.
What to do: "If you're with someone who enjoys this, start by stroking around the areola and gently tweaking the nipple with your fingers," says Cavanah. "Lick around it and suck on it, increasing pressure and gently biting it. Nipples can be twisted and pulled to great effect, too." She also suggests trying a pair of nipple clamps when they're really turned on. It will keep blood flow in the area, increasing sensitivity and keeping them at attention. Or try sucking on an ice cube and then sucking on their nipples. "The contraction of his nipples due to the cold can heighten the sensations," says Michaels. (And, yes, it's totally possible to have a nipple orgasm.)
Erogenous Zone for Males #8: Scrotal Raphe
How to find it: It's easy to give their penis all the loving, but don't leave their balls out in the cold. The scrotal sack is the loose skin that surrounds the testicles and that's what feels good to stimulate. "The line that runs in the middle like a seam is the raphe," says Cavanah, and it's a male erogenous zone you definitely want to give a little attention.
What to do: "Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great for most people," explains Cavanah. "Let them guide you on how much pressure they like because the amount varies depending on the person." To get them really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. Your ~sexy someone~ will lose themselves in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms. (And while you're boosting your bedroom antics, find out exactly how to orgasm at the same time as your partner.)