9 Things You Should Never Say on a First Date

By eHarmony staff
July 09, 2012
Avoid these mistakes and ensure there'll be a second date!
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1 of 9

"Financially, I'm doing great/awful"

Many people draw conclusions about others based on their income, investments, family wealth (or poverty), and so on. You want to be evaluated on who you are—your personality, beliefs, ambitions—not your income-generating potential. This goes for in-depth conversations that may conspicuously point out your wealth (“I do like to summer at my home in San-Tropez").

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2 of 9

"I want to tell you a secret"

This may seem obvious, but you cannot trust someone you just met with really personal information. Give them time to prove their trustworthiness, and keep it light on that first encounter. There is no “full disclosure” rule in effect on a first date. You have the right to withhold almost every unflattering fact until it is established that you like each other and want to pursue things.

3 of 9

"Do you mind if I use a coupon for dinner?"

You may be smart with your money or saving for a rainy day, but you could also risk being seen as cheap by potential dates. Save the coupons for a bit later in the dating process, please.

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4 of 9

"We're going to be such great friends"

Unless you discover you have no attraction for your date, uttering this phrase will put you in the friend zone forever. There are people who use online dating services to meet friends, but it’s really not the point.

5 of 9

"I'm still in love with my ex"

You may think you are being honest, but the reality is you are posting a giant red flag with a comment like this. Plus, you probably shouldn’t even be dating if this statement is true.

6 of 9

"Do you want to come back to my place?"

You might not use these exact words, but any kind of heavy sexual come-on is a terrible first date idea. In fact, sex on a first date is a typically a big mistake, if for no other reason than its power to affect your decision-making skills.

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7 of 9

"I hate my job"

Keep the negativity to a minimum—no one wants to be around or get to know a pessimistic person. In fact, 98 percent of eHarmony users rate a good sense of humor and positive outlook on life as two definite must-have qualities.

8 of 9

"I'm obsessed with Botox"

So you had crow’s feet that bothered you for years—and you decided to do something about them. That is completely OK and your prerogative, but could send the wrong, superficial signals to someone who has just met you. Save the plastic surgery wish list for later—once they know all of your other wonderful qualities.

9 of 9

"Will you marry me?"

Yes, it happens. Should it? Never! Even if you feel an amazing connection or intense infatuation—keep your feet on the ground. Let’s add any kind of “Oh my God, you’re so perfect for me!” talk to that. It places additional pressure on the situation and can take a date from nice and pleasant to creepy fast!

Read the full story on eHarmony here!

More on eHarmony:

First Date Questions We Love

Online Dating Profile Tips for Women

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