best-sex-toys-2020-sex-therapist

The 10 Best Sex Toys to Buy Right Now, According to a Sex Therapist

Shop these quality sex toys from beloved brands and small businesses — all sex therapist-approved.
Each product we feature has been independently selected and reviewed by our editorial team. If you make a purchase using the links included, we may earn commission.

Between being a sex educator, sex therapist, having my own sex life, I'm fortunate enough to have tried hundreds of sex toys.

I know it can be super overwhelming to walk into a sex shop or even search for sex toys online and get your new toy 'discreetly shipped' to you — only to wonder if you got the "right" toy made of the right material. There's a general lack of sex education in the U.S., but when it comes to using sex toys and pleasure aids, there is virtually zero education.

Part of my job is to be as up-to-date as possible on the research around sex and pleasure to help educate others — and that includes toys. In my opinion, what makes a sex toy "good" is what it's made of, the intentions of the design, the ethics of the company that makes the product, and the efficacy and versatility of the product.

Remember: A sex toy or pleasure aid is meant to enhance your sexual experience and help do things that another human can't (such as move their tongue at a crazy fast pace for 20 minutes straight!). Toys are not replacements for people, they never have been, and never should be.

To help you sort through alllll the sex toy options out there, I've hand-picked 10 of my favorite sex toys and pleasure aids on the market right now. These are the sex products I think are actually worth your money. (For more about toys and pleasure aids, check out my sex toy reviews on Instagram.)

BTW, I highly recommend getting a sex toy cleaner such as Sweet Vibes Foami (Buy It, $15, amazon.com) to keep all these babies in tip-top shape.

1. Sliquid Sassy Lubricant

Sliquid Sassy is a water-based lubricant that's formulated to be a bit thicker and longer-lasting than most other water-based lubricants.

sliquid-sassy-lube
Credit: Amazon

Why I love it: Lube is the best sex toy you'll ever own. This pick is water-based so you can use it on all of your toys no matter what they're made of. (Remember, you can't use a silicone-based lubricant on a silicone toy because it will erode the material and create little holes where bacteria can grow...yuck!) Plus, it's formulated to be gentle on your vaginal pH and great for anal play.

Who I recommend it for: Someone who is new to sex toys and wants to start playing a little more. Anyone who wants a thicker, longer-lasting, lube that can be used for anal sex.

2. Dame Pillo

The Dame Pillo looks like it could be a laptop pillow (and, FTR, can even be used as such) but is designed for making sex even better.

Dame Pillo Sex Pillow
Credit: Dame

Why I love it: It's versatile, easy to clean, water-resistant and helps support your back while you work and during sex — that's pretty amazing. (Pssst...peep some other sex pillows here, too.)

Who I recommend it for: Anyone who is currently putting sleeping pillows under their body during sex for support, anyone looking to add something new that's not a vibrator or dildo.

3. Uberrime Splendid Dual-Density Hand-Poured Silicone Dildo

Each Uberrime hand-poured dildo is a beautiful piece of art as well as a versatile sex toy.

etsy-uberrime-dildo-silicone
Credit: Etsy

Why I love it: Each is a little bit different because they're hand-made. Something being handmade in the sex toy industry is almost unheard of anymore — and can I get a "hell yeah" for supporting small businesses? It's also just realistic enough and the dual-density silicone is harder on the inside but softer on the outside, making it the perfect combination of firm and squishy. Plus, it's harness-compatible.

Who I recommend it for: Anyone who wants to try a dildo or already loves dildos and wants to add a really good one to their collection. This is great for beginners and advanced dildo-users alike.

4. Njoy Pure Wand

Made of high-quality stainless steel, the Njoy Pure Wand provides a direct connection to your favorite spot – G, P, A, or wherever feels good for you. It can be used internally and externally, alone or with (a) partner(s).

njoy-pure-wand-in-box
Credit: njoy

Why I love it: It's versatile, great for all genders, and it's super durable. (Read more about why one sex writer is obsessed with it.)

Who I recommend it for: Intermediate to advanced sex toy users, as it's heavy and not incredibly intuitive right away. This toy is great for hitting all of the pleasure zones.

5. Biird Obii

This adorable clitoral massager has both suction and vibration modes.

obii-biird-clitoral-sex-toy
Credit: Obii

Buy It: Biird Obii, $107, was $131, biird.co

Why I love it: It's so soft (literally the softest silicone I've ever felt), it has both the clitoral sucker (which is one of the best I've experienced) and a vibration mode, so depending on what mood you're in, you can have different types of orgasms all with this one toy.

Who I recommend it for: Anyone who likes clitoral oragasms, either from sucking, tickling, flicking, or vibrations. (If that's you, the Womanizer Premium, $200, womanizer.com is another great option.)

6. Crystal Delight's Dr. Pacik Dilators

Crystal Delights Pacik Dilators are handmade in the U.S. from medical-grade borosilicate glass and available in six sizes. FYI, this type of glass is super strong and heat-resistant, and used in many glass sex toys.

crystal-delights-dilators
Credit: Crystal Delights

Buy It: Crystal Delights Pacik Dilators, $170 for a set of 3 or $41-81 for 1, crystaldelights.com

Why I love it: Not only are these dilators great for treating vaginismus (involuntary tensing of the vagina at the start of intersource, while inserting a tampon or while getting a pelvic exam, making all of the above painful), but they can also be used during sexual reassignment, for anal stretching, and even for other types of sexual play, in BDSM scenes or in conjunction with a clitoral stimulator.

Who I recommend it for: Anyone experiencing vaginismus, vulvodynia, wants to stretch their anus, play with glass toys… the list is endless. These are groundbreaking.

7. Sweet Vibes Charmed Wand

The Sweet Vibes Charmed Wand is the wand vibrator that everyone wishes they had when first discovering masturbation. It's a silicone wand, ergonomically designed, and has a pointed tip for spot-on stimulation.

charmed-sex-toys-wand-amazon
Credit: Amazon

Why I love it: This is a must-have toy for anyone because of how versatile, inexpensive, well-made, and pleasurable it is. It can be used on all genders and in so many ways. Plus, it's only $44.

Who I recommend it for: All humans who like vibration. (If you're looking for a smaller vibe, I also love the Dame Kip, $95, dameproducts.com)

8. Anoeses Dita Collar & Leash

These premium leather sensual accessories focus on aesthetics, functionality, and quality.

anoeses-etsy-collar-leash-set-sex-toys-bdsm
Credit: Anoeses/Etsy

Why I love it: It feels so good on your skin, it's hand-made, durable, and is the best leather for BDSM I've found.

Who I recommend it for: Someone who wants to try a bit of BDSM, or is already into it. These are high quality and will give you an idea of what it's really like to wear a collar, not just a choker.

9. Womanizer Duo

This toy features Womanizer's Pleasure Air Technology to stimulate the clitoris with powerful waves of alternating air pressure while massaging the G-spot with vibrations.

womanizer-duo-best-sex-toys-2020
Credit: Womanizer

Buy It: Womanizer Duo, $219, womanizer.com; $208, amazon.com

Why I love it: It's so luxurious. It feels like a pleasure spaceship landed. The toy starts when you put it in and stops itself if you stop playing (incredible, right?). The features are endless and can create so many different types of orgasms: blended, clitoral, G-Spot, and more. It's just… so fancy and nice.

Who I recommend it for: An experienced sex toy user. This is a luxury item (hence the price tag). You don't need this when you're first starting out. (If you're interested in the dual sensation, try this other suction toy with a massaging G-spot arm that's a bit more affordable.)

10. Tango Signature Beginner Butt Plug

The perfect beginner butt plug for people interesting in having an anal orgasm, wearing a butt plug during sex, or preparing for anal sex.

tango-butt-plugs
Credit: Tango

Why I love it: It's small, but not so small that it's only great for beginners. Those who are more experienced with anal play will also enjoy the stimulation and wearability of the plug.

Who I recommend it for: This butt plug is perfect for someone who wants to start exploring anal play or already loves anal sex — and is looking for a perfectly made, well-priced silicone butt plug. (Another great, similar option: the B-Vibe Snug Plug, $45, amazon.com)