The Best (and Safest!) Shower Sex Positions
The Truth About Shower Sex
Whether it's Dear John or Fifty Shades Darker or Queer As Folk, you probably remember one shower sex scene that convinced you shower sex would be hot to try yourself.
Here's the thing: While IRL shower sex tends to fall short (just me?), Lisa Finn, a sex educator at sex toy emporium Babeland says it can be awesome.
"Any time you bring a new environment into your sex life, it can feel sexy and adventurous," says Finn. "The heat of the water can also help you and your muscles relax, making sex physically easier and more pleasurable."
So, what's the key to making shower sex feel, well, sexy? According to Finn, *not* trying to be an acrobat… unless you're actually an acrobat. "There's no need to contort your body into all sorts of shapes and positions to enjoy sensual touch under water," she says. Need proof? Scroll down for shower sex positions that sex educators say will give help you create your own xxx-rated shower sex routine.
Friendly PSA: "If your shampoos or soaps are oil-based, they can degrade latex and make condoms and latex barriers less effective," according to Finn. So, play before you suds up or make sure to rinse it allll the way off before donning protection. (Related: 8 Scary Condom Mistakes You Could Be Making).
Validate me: This shower sex position's name is hilarious, right? "Doggy-style sex is actually one of the better and safer ways you can have sex in the shower," according to sex educator Cassandra Corrado with O.school. Why? Because the partner being penetrated can face the wall and use it for support. Bonus points if your wall has a well-placed shower handle (like this one).
Face away from your partner and, well, back that azz up. With both your and your partner's feet planted on the ground (ideally, on a no-slip bath mat covered ground), your partner can grab onto your hips and enter you from behind. Use your arms to press back into their thrusts, tilting your pelvis this way and that until they're hitting your O-spot.
If you've got a handle that you can hang onto, don't be afraid to get some toys in on the action. That way you can hold on with one hand and stimulate your clit with another. Engle recommends the Womanizer for folks who like clit suction toys and Unbound's Bender or Saucy for buzzier clit stimulation.
All Hands On Deck
This is a good rule in general, but is especially apt for shower sex: Don't make everything about a P in the V. "Shower sex is not fun when you insist penetrative sex is the end-all-be-all," says Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach, sexologist, and author of All the F*cking Mistakes.
Your plan of action: Get handsy. "Using your hands allows you to discover and rediscover your and your partner's non-genital erogenous zones," suggests Finn. (Think: neck, thighs, scalp, hips, breasts, armpits, lower back, and ears). Then, touch yourself or your partner! This is a great opportunity to ask your partner to show you what they like, she says. (Feel free to add toys, too. Read: The Best Waterproof Vibrators for Solo or Partnered Shower Sex)
Ideally, you'll do so with lots of lubes. While the shower may make you wet, water actually isn't lubrication, says Engle. In fact, "water actually washes away the natural lubrication your vagina makes and can increase unpleasurable friction," she says. If you're using silicone-based toys, you'll want to stick to water-based lube, but if you're just using your hands, please use silicone-based lube. It's thicker and less likely to wash away in the stream. (See more: Everything You Need to Know About Lube).
"If you're committed to shower sex, then a shower chair is a total game-changer," says Engle. "And if you've got a sex chair, you can try my favorite position: lotus." To try it, have the penetrating partner sit on the chain, then straddle their lap, wrapping your legs all the way around their waist-and if you can, the chair. From here, rock back and forth with the warm water running over you. "It's super sensual and erotic," she says.
And, if doing so won't result in either of you getting water (or soap) in your eyes, sustain eye contact for increased intimacy. (BTW: Lotus is one of the best tantric sex positions for super intimate sex.)
Wipe the suds from your face, then enjoy maintaining sensuous eye contact through the steam with this front-facing option. "This three-legged position is one of the easiest to pull off in the shower," says Engle.
Here's how: Lean your back against the shower wall, then when your partner is between your legs, wrap one leg around their hips. Have them grab onto your thigh to stabilize you as they thrust.
If that feels unstable, Finn suggests installing a shaving shelf/ledge and using it for extra support. "Propping your leg up on the ledge instead of wrapping it around your partner's body can increase how secure you feel during penetration." Plus, depending on how high up the ledge is, it may help open your body up for deeper strokes.
If your partner has a penis or is wearing a strap-on, the easiest way to give a shower blow-job (especially if your partner is tall) is by bending down. But the shower floor can be painful, and that can be pretty tiring.
"Get yourself a shower mat or folded up towel to kneel on; it makes all the difference in the world," says Engle.
Pro tip: Have your partner stand under the water so that their back is blocking the water from hitting your face. "The last thing you want when your partner's genitals are in your mouth is to have water clog your nose, making it hard to breathe," says Finn. Honestly, have truer words ever been spoken?
Lick and Slide
Remember that shower mat? Well, here's another reason to buy one: It'll help lengthen how long your partner is able to lick your bits.
Stand facing away from the jet so that your back shields the stream from their face. Then, if you have a ledge/soap shelf/ tub edge that you can prop your foot up on, do that. Or if you've got good balance, you can even put your foot over their shoulders to give them better access to your clit and vulva, says Engle. If your partner is comfortable with it and likes a little hands-on direction, "you can even grab their head to pull their hair and grind against their face," she says. (Related: Everything You Need to Know About Oral STIs).
Also hot: Have the giving partner sit in your new shower chair and the receiving part stand in front, legs spread for easier access, suggests Corrado.
Listen: You're not going to make missionary happen in any ol' shower. You're gonna need a BIG shower… like, lie-down-in big. As someone with a shower that's smaller than a locker, that's simply not in my future. But, if you have a big-ass shower or tub situation that can accommodate two bodies stacked like pancakes, you should have at it! "Missionary anywhere can be great because of the closeness and intimacy that it allows for," says Finn. (BTW: Missionary doesn't need to be boring.)
If you're craving that face-to-face intimacy and, like me, but have a puny shower, "shower with your partner and enjoy a hot and steamy foreplay and make-out session, but wait to have penetrative intercourse until you're out of the shower and can lie down," says Finn. Having to wait might make it all the more exciting when you finally do get to home base.
Another position for folks with big showers/tubs (because sometimes size *does* matter) is the classic spooning position. "If you have a shower-tub combo, this can be an especially comfortable option, because the slope of the back of the bathtub can help support your bodies," says Corrado.
How to do it: Fill the tub up just enough that you feel like you're taking a bath… but not enough that thrusting-induced waves are going to flood your bathroom. Position your bods in the tub so that the penetrating partner is big-spooning the receiving partner. Next, apply lube and have at it. Just remember: some lubes (like many CBD lubes, for example) are oil-based, which can degrade the integrity of latex condoms and make them less effective. So, if you're using condoms for pregnancy prevention or to decrease the risk of STI transmission, use a silicone-based or water-based lube instead.
BTW: You can also use this position for anal penetration. But if that's your plan, Finn suggests using a lube shooter, which is a device that you nestle right at the entry of your front or back hole and then use it to fill your body with lube. "This will help you bum stay lubricated even when there is water, and you won't have to worry as much about lube getting on the floor and being slippery," she says.