The blended orgasm really is all it's hyped up to be.
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As both a sex writer and a person with a vulva, I've had three sex-related things that I've always wanted to not just experience but also accomplish. I wanted to finally have a G-spot orgasm; I wanted to squirt; and the crème de la crème, I wanted in on the blended orgasm that I had heard so much about.

For the longest time, even after I began writing about sex and relationships, I had a hard time believing any of these things actually existed. Because I hadn't experienced them personally, they were mythical creatures like fairies, unicorns, and centaurs. In fact, I firmly believed I had a better chance of stumbling into Puck from A Midsummer Night's Dream while wandering through a forest than ever achieving the aforementioned three sexual goals.

Then, one day back in 2017, thanks to my partner wearing a vibrating cock ring, I achieved that elusive G-spot orgasm. Although it felt amazing and quite different from a clitoral orgasm, it wasn't what I expected. Don't get me wrong, it felt wonderful, but I expected fireworks when I achieve something that's on my sexual bucket list. (See: How to Use a Cock Ring — Plus, 8 to Try)

In 2020, I attempted to give myself a G-spot orgasm without the help of anyone else. At the time, we were smack dab in the middle of the pandemic and my sex drive was at an all-time low (in fact, I wasn't sure if I'd have any sort of sex again). But then sex toy company Le Wand sent me the new Bow toy from their stainless steel collection — and when Le Wand sends you samples, you don't just put them aside. Instead, you rip the box open with the fervor of an orgasm-deprived human and get straight to work. (See: These Stainless Steel Sex Toys Will Add a Whole New Element to Your Solo (or Partnered) Play)

While I didn't experience a G-spot orgasm that day, I did experience something else: female ejaculation. I couldn't believe it. At first, I thought I had wet my bed, but no, I had joined the ranks of squirters! It wasn't a myth after all — and it's something that, when I use the Bow, either solo or with a partner, has continued to happen for me.

So, while I had nailed these two sexual goals, the ultimate remained elusive: the blended orgasm.

What Is a Blended Orgasm, Anyway?

A blended orgasm is when you experience two types of orgasms simultaneously.

The G-spot and the clitoris are often thought of as the money spots when it comes to orgasms (at least for vulva owners), but that's not true. The human body is covered in erogenous zones that can induce orgasms, like nipplegasms and anal orgasms, as well as many others. (See: 7 Different Types of Orgasms You Probably Didn't Know You Could Have)

"A blended orgasm is special because it's a combination of two sources of pleasure, that when fully aroused and stimulated at the same time, produce orgasms together," says Alicia Sinclair, certified sex education and CEO of COTR, Inc., a premium intimacy product company. "It's essentially blending two erogenous zones for a super sensation orgasm. For many folks, this means more intensity of sensation and/or a full-bodied feeling."

All that said, having an orgasm from two types of stimulation at once doesn't always mean it's a blended orgasm. In fact, most folks with a vulva best experience orgasm this way: with both internal and external stimulation, says Sinclair.

What Does a Blended Orgasm Feel Like?

When it came to trying to achieve a blended orgasm, I knew I needed a vibrator to stimulate my clitoris and a curved dildo to stimulate my G-spot at the same time. I'm not going to lie: It took me multiple tries to achieve this blended orgasm. I knew I had the tools, I had explored my body enough to know what feels best for me and where, and I had the ambition. But I also had an overactive brain.

For me, relaxation is key to having an orgasm — so much so that I very rarely orgasm with a partner (if a toy isn't involved), because I'm constantly in my head and struggle to get my head in the game, so to speak.

In an attempt to relax, I had a couple of glasses of wine first, then I took a bubble bath. I read some Anaïs Nin (a French-Cuban-American writer famous for her erotica) and also tried cannabis-based lubes that were supposed to help in this relaxation process. I wouldn't say pursuing this blended orgasm was a full-time job, but it wasn't easy at first — at least not for me. Others might be able to have one the first time around and do so in a matter of minutes.

Then, one night, it happened: I had a blended orgasm. I was laying in bed, going at it, and suddenly I was awash with joy and pleasure. I felt like one of those fainting goats that's just so overcome it can't handle it anymore and collapses. The deep orgasm inside my vagina created a whole-body experience, a head-to-toe intensity that was complemented perfectly with a cherry on top — that cherry being the clitoral orgasm. The release of both orgasms at once was something so far above anything I'd ever physically felt that I'm not even sure there's a word in the dictionary to describe it. Mind-blowing doesn't seem to do it. It was a celestial transcending beyond this world to a higher plane that some people might call heaven. But as someone who doesn't believe in heaven, my body felt like it was part of something greater. Something that bordered on almost too intense, as if human beings aren't supposed to feel that good. (Related: The Science Behind Toe-Curling Orgasms)

Can Anyone Have a Blended Orgasm?

Absolutely. Granted, it may take several tries, but everyone — whether they have a penis or vulva — can have a blended orgasm, says Sinclair.

"If you want to experience a blended orgasm, you should first become familiar with your anatomy and your sensations," says Laurène Dorléac, CEO and co-founder of Climax, an educational video series teaching pleasure to those with vulvas. "Which means that you should be aware of erogenous zones such as your G-spot and your glans clitoris. To increase the chances of reaching a blended orgasm, don't forget or neglect the stimulation of the breasts, buttocks, neck, and mouth for more intense, full-body sensations, and response."

How to Have a Blended Orgasm

Now that you know that everyone is capable of having a blended orgasm, you probably want to have one too. While for me, toys (and red wine) were essential, that may not be the case for everyone. Here are some techniques for having a blended orgasm (solo or partnered) straight from experts.

Get to know your body.

"Understanding the best way for you to achieve orgasm is the first step," says Sinclair. "Meaning, if a vibrator on the clit works for you, use that as the base and then blend in something new. For example, if you're trying to hit the G-spot and the clit at the same time, start by warming up your clit and then add an internal toy designed to stimulate it." (Or go for a toy that does both, such as this internal and external toy that people are obsessed with.)

People who have the best sex and best masturbation sessions are those who know the ins and outs of their body, and exactly how to pleasure it.

Take deep breaths.

Although I'm guilty of barely breathing when it comes to trying to achieve an orgasm — I'm the same way with yoga for some reason — breathing is essential when it comes to reaching climax.

"Deep breathing will help enhance pleasure and will [guide] you to experience a full-body orgasm," says Dorléac. "Many of us have a habit of shallow breathing, using mostly the upper part of our lungs, limiting our oxygen intake. But when we try deep breathing, the diaphragm expands giving the lungs more space to accommodate more air."

This technique will help blood flow to spread throughout the body, helping the body to experience a full-body sensation when that blended orgasm is achieved, says Dorléac. Climax even has an online class that can introduce a few exercises for this type of deep breathing. (Related: If You're Uncomfortable Receiving Oral Sex, You're Not Alone — Here's How to Relax)

Explore and experiment.

Even if you know what gets you off and what doesn't, there's always room for exploration. Not only do your desires change over time, but your body may now find it's aroused by things that weren't arousing to you in the past.

"Play around with sensation and feeling until you start to find what feels good," says Sinclair. "Don't be afraid to turn internal toys to the side or even downwards. You would be surprised how much of the vaginal canal can contribute to orgasm." (See: 4 Deep Vaginal Erogenous Zones You Don't Want to Miss)

Find the right combination.

"Blending an orgasm is all about combining two sources of pleasure," says Sinclair. "Without toys, a couple could do this by stimulating their clitoris with fingers or hands while their partner penetrates them. Or, with toys, a person could use a vibrator on their clitoris during penetrative sex. The doggy-style position is great for this [as it provides optimal G-spot stimulation], and the clitoris is not restricted, making it easier to stimulate." (Related: The Best Positions for Using a Vibrator During SexThe Best Positions for Using a Vibrator During Sex)

"Many folks with a vulva experience their strongest orgasms through both penetration and clit stimulation," says Sinclair. While not every double stimulation will lead to a blended orgasm, it is one of the best ways to get there, she says.

And hey, if you get a regular orgasm as a result instead of a blended O, that's not a bad consolation prize.