50 Dirty 'Never Have I Ever' Questions That'll Help You Get to Know Each Other's Sexy Side
Use it as a playful, exploratory bit of foreplay.
When someone mentions the game, "Never Have I Ever," your initial thought may be sitting on the floor in a college dorm room, taking swigs of cheap wine, using the questions to get good and drunk. As the evening evolved, the questions become more probing and provocative, and before the night was over you likely left the dorm room knowing that so-and-so had anal sex in the bushes behind the English hall and someone else had masturbated with a vegetable over summer break. It's just one of those games that people tend to play in college when their sexual journey is still relatively new and, in the process, you usually learn not just a lot about each other, but even about a few sex-related things you didn't know existed.
But just because you may no longer be in college drinking cheap wine that doesn't mean that "Never Have I Ever" can't continue to be a game which you can learn from, especially when it comes to your partner's wants and needs. As long as you have some ground rules, so things don't go awry and jealousy or feelings of mistrust come up, "Never Have I Ever" can be quite beneficial for your relationship.
"As with any game you play, it's great to establish some rules so whoever is playing knows how to stay in bounds when things feel like they're getting out of line," says Megan Stubbs, Ed.D., a sexual wellness and relationship expert and author of Playing Without a Partner: A Singles' Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness. "Establishing some general rules like 'no talk about exes' or 'no passive aggressive bringing up past misdeeds,' can help alleviate any worry about stepping over any lines that may cause hurt or distress when playing the game. Because, after all, games should be fun!"
In case you've never played, the gist of "Never Have I Ever" is this: You take turns listing potential experiences they've never had/things they've never done. If someone has done the thing mentioned, they take a sip of their drink (or whatever other consequence you decide on). If no one playing has done the thing mentioned, the person who posed the "Never Have I Ever" question takes a drink.
Just as in sexual acts, Stubbs suggests having something not unlike a safe word that one might use in bed, to let your partner(s) know that they're getting close to trespassing or treading on the established rules. Decide, in advance, that should something of this nature come up whether you want to talk about it at that moment or shelf it for later. "There is no one-size-fits-all structure for game-play, so feel free to adapt and adjust as you play this with your partner(s) [or friends]," says Stubbs.
Ultimately, once you have your guidelines in place, it's time to really make the most of what "Never Have I Ever" can offer all types of relationships by putting people on the spot — in a fun and adventurous way — where respect and consent are paramount, of course. It can open dialogues not just about what your partner(s) has done in the past, but what they like that you haven't tried together yet, or something you both haven't tried at all, but want to explore. (Related: What Is Consent, Really? Plus, How and When to Ask for It)
"I think this is a great game to play with your partner to add some new interest and playful curiosity to your relationship," says Stubbs. "It definitely can be a conversation starter and a novel way to add more depth to your relationship. Up the ante, (this is a game after all), with a layer of sexy play if you'd like, by adding a clothing removal rule if your partner has or hasn't done something. You can really get creative with this… It's really limitless."
Here are 50 sexual and dirty "Never Have I Ever" questions for couples, hookups, groups, and, really, anyone else who wants to spark sexy conversations and get to know your friends or partner(s) a bit more intimately.
Dirty Never Have I Ever Questions
Never have I ever…
- Had an anonymous one-night stand
- Fallen asleep while receiving oral sex
- Fallen asleep while giving oral sex
- Fallen asleep during intercourse
- Sexted the wrong number
- Had sex in public
- Tried anal play
- Had a threesome with a couple friends
- Joined the mile high club
- Had sex without a condom
- Told anyone my most embarrassing sexual moment
- Faked an orgasm
- Acted on a fantasy and was surprisingly disappointed
- Went to bed with someone I wasn't into just to get laid
- Pretended to be asleep after I climaxed
- Seduced someone I knew was married
- Shared my "number" with anyone
- Read erotica
- Thought about an ex while masturbating
- Made a sex playlist
- Made a sex video
- Sent a nude
- Wanted to indulge in water sports
- Shared my kinks and fetishes with my partners
- Participated in an orgy
- Engaged in BDSM
- Sent a raunchy video to someone
- Wanted to partake in double penetration
- Tried pegging — either receiving or giving
- Attended a sex party
- Used a sex toy in public
- Tasted my own cum or vaginal fluids
- Watched myself masturbate in front of the mirror
- Wanted to be caught mid-sex
- Thought about a celebrity while having sex with you
- Accidentally forgotten our safe word mid-sex
- Tried role-playing
- Masturbated instead of having sex because I was so tired
- Watched my partner have sex with another person
- Explored a sex act with someone that I wasn't quite interested in
- Tried talking dirty in bed
- Sexted someone
- Watched porn with a partner
- Been spanked in bed
- Masturbated during the workday
- Incorporated sex toys into partnered play
- Tried ______ sex position
- Incorporated food into sex