What Is an Erotic Blueprint, and Why Does It Matter?

On a recent cold evening in Paris, I settled in to watch Netflix, as one does once November rolls around. While browsing through my options, I came across goop's most recent series, Sex, Love & goop (goop also had a one-season series in 2020 entitled, The goop Lab with Gwyneth Paltrow). I had heard murmurs about this new one from friends and colleagues and figured, although I had zero to no interest in hearing what Paltrow has to say in regard to sex advice, it might be worth a watch with some wine. And, oh, it was.

Sex, Love & goop follows a few different couples, specifically Erika and Damon, in their quest to be on the same page in their sex life. The couple, like many couples, is struggling to be more compatible in bed, so they come to Paltrow for help. Since Paltrow herself isn't exactly a sex expert, she calls upon somatic sexologist Jaiya, who introduces them to the "Erotic Blueprint." Cue the intrigue.

What Is an Erotic Blueprint, Exactly?

The Erotic Blueprint is a theory that Jaiya has developed over her 20 years of working with couples hoping to better understand themselves and their partners so they can have more fulfilling sex lives. The theory is that everyone has an erotic language and that knowing your Erotic Blueprint can help "empower you to better communicate your needs when it comes to intimacy and sex," according to the Erotic Blueprint site. If you know your Erotic Blueprint as well as your partner's, you can harness deeper compassion for each other, better understand what you both need for satisfying sex, and learn why you both behave the way you do during sex. (

In addition to understanding what arouses you most, each Erotic Blueprint Type also has "shadow aspects — which may be putting the brakes on your turn on," according to the Erotic Blueprint site. Meaning, your type can also shed light on what might majorly turn you off. (It's worth noting that this "brakes" analogy is legit, and also used by other sex experts such as Emily Nagoski.) For example, in a video on her YouTube channel, Jaiya and her partner, Ian Ferguson, give an example of how Erotic Blueprints might shed light on a situation IRL: "Now I understand why he's getting up to go change the music in the middle of sex, which drives my blueprint crazy," says Jaiya.

Everyone has a primary one of five Erotic Blueprints, according to the theory:

• Energetic: This type enjoys the chase and anticipation that comes with sex. They're aroused by both teasing and being teased and enjoying the energy that comes from playing a sort of game before getting into the physical act of sex.
• Sensual: True to the definition of the word "sensual," this type wants their senses "ignited," as Ferguson explains in the video. They're all about candles, atmosphere, and anything that brings an intense level of sensuality to the equation.
• Sexual: Those who are sexual types simply love sex. Like, a lot. They don't just love sex, in all its form, from penetration, to masturbation, to oral, and everything in between, but as Jaiya says in the video, "They can get upset if they're not getting enough sex — if they're not getting enough orgasm."
• Kinky: The kinky type is, well, kinky— it's generally someone who isturned on by anything taboo. The arousal factor can be more psychological, or about the power dynamics involved. Of course, what one sees as kinky varies from person to person.
• Shapeshifter: The shapeshifter type is basically the whole enchilada. It's this type who's sexually aroused by all the above, making them the easiest to please and understand because they're basically a grab bag of turn-ons.

If you feel like several of these resonate, rest assured: You are not just one type, but rather "a delicious mix of all five," with one that emerges as your primary, according to the site. "Your pathway to sexual satisfaction is ultimately a blend of how your body and mind relate to the turn-ons of ALL 5 Erotic Blueprint Types."

How Important Is It to Know Your Erotic Blueprint?

Of course, you may be having incredible sex without having this particular label to put on yourself or your partner — but it does seem that Erotic Blueprints could still serve to improve most people's sex lives.

Interestingly, Erotic Blueprints aren't unlike the love languages. ICYDK, The 5 Love Languages (Buy It, $8, amazon.com) by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. is a book and theory that everyone has specific Love Languages, and those languages are the preferred way you give and receive love. It's essentially a guide to better understanding your relationship behavior and that of your partner so that you both know how to make each other feel loved, supported, and appreciated. Erotic Blueprints are, in some ways, the sex-specific version of Love Languages.

"Understanding your partner's Erotic Blueprint will help you give them what they need and vice versa," says Laurène Dorléac, CEO and co-founder of Climax, an educational video series that helps those with vulvas better understand how to achieve pleasure. "In the end, this knowledge will ensure that both of you enjoy it and don't end up with issues that can turn your sex life into something boring." Not to mention, if you have trouble expressing what you want or need in bed, the Erotic Blueprints can act as a structured conversation starter. "The right knowledge of an Erotic Blueprint will help any couple open the conversation, deeply understand what works and does not work, the pace at which things can go, or even your degree of compatibility with another person," says Dorléac. (

But, as Dorléac explains, it shouldn't be taken too seriously — Erotic Blueprints are a theory, after all, and not a scientific fact. "It's okay if your personalities don't perfectly match! There is always a way to find a common path," she says.

I took the Erotic Blueprint theory quiz to discover my Erotic Blueprint and found out I'm "sensual." I can't say I totally agree with this, because I've never lit a candle before sex, paid much attention to the atmosphere, or fed a lover a chocolate-covered strawberry. I thought for sure I'd be "sexual" or maybe even "kinky." But perhaps the sensual path is something I should give a whirl. Perhaps I'll be pleasantly surprised that I do need a pumpkin spice candle to have mind-blowing orgasms. Perhaps I've changed as I've matured but I just never got the memo.

"I think our Erotic Blueprint evolves with the time, with sexual experiences, and relationships," says Dorléac. "You don't belong to one type of Erotic Blueprint. It really depends on how you feel, your level of trust with your partner, etc... your desires and wishes can evolve dramatically."

If you're wondering what your type is, you too can take the Erotic Blueprint quiz. There's the basic 10-question quiz that's free or the in-depth 22-question quiz that's "carefully crafted," according to the website. The latter will set you back $17, but you'll receive a 28-page report that will detail everything you could possibly want to know about your Erotic Blueprint Type. For some, it just might be the best $17 they spend this year (and if that's the case, they can also dive into Jaiya's 8-week online Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough course for a whopping $990). But for others, who think they already know their type, that money might be better spent on more pumpkin spice candles.