Use these pleasure-boosting, research-backed strategies to get a blow-your-mind climax.

By Carly Graf
Advertisement
Photo: Piotr Powietrzynski / Getty Images

There's a blow-your-mind climax in your future tonight, and every night, if you use these pleasure-boosting, foolproof, research-backed strategies for how to have an orgasm.

1. Tune in to your body.

Distracting thoughts are the number-one reason why women have difficulty reaching orgasm, says Vanessa Marin, a certified sex therapist and the founder of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women. (Here: 21 Surprising Facts You Should Know About Your Orgasm) "We multitask so much these days that we have a hard time being fully in the moment, even during sex," she says. And nothing kills an orgasm faster than thinking about some big meeting at work or an argument you had with your sister.

It makes sense, then, that women who are better able to tune out distractions are able to have an orgasm and enjoy sex more than those who don't, according to research in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy. To stay focused and present, Marin recommends concentrating on one specific body part that's feeling great, like your neck or your breasts as they're being kissed. This will instantly redirect your mind back to the action, making it easier to intensify your arousal. Use this technique every time you catch your mind wandering. (Here, more expert tips on how to eliminate mental and physical distractions during sex.)

And, of course, practice makes perfect. Practice being mindful during sex by practicing mindful masturbation on your own. It can also help you learn what you like, so you can guide your partner in the right direction.

2. Breathe right.

No joke: Breathing like you do when you're turned on may help you have an orgasm. That's because your inhales and exhales can influence your emotions; it's why deep, slow breaths can calm you down when you're tense. Marin recommends experimenting with different types of breath.

For example: Taking short, quick breaths for a few minutes as you build up to your orgasm may boost your heart rate and heighten your sensations. Or switch to deeper breaths to help relax and tune in to the moment. (These three breathing exercises for better sex will help you get started.)

3. Fantasize a little (or a lot).

If you're having trouble figuring out how to have an orgasm, cue up a go-to fantasy or think about the hottest sex you've ever had. Worrying about whether you'll finish depresses desire and dulls your body's response, which makes it harder to orgasm, Marin says. Using your imagination is proven to make your skin more sensitive, helping to bring on the O. (Or learn how to have multiple orgasms!)

Most important: Take the pressure off!

And if it's just not going to happen? No worries-you'll still get some major health benefits from having sex even if you don't O. Sit back, enjoy, and don't worry too much about having an orgasm. (That relaxation might ultimately help get you there too!)

Comments (1)

Anonymous
July 5, 2018
i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (hacksecrete@gmail.com) call or text him on +1(617) 402-2260 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more,viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger,calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely,cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages,his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.