How to Squirt (and Why It's Totally Chill If You Can't)
Yes, mere pleasure-seeking mortals can do it, but it just might not look like you think.
Despite sex educators, sex journalists (hi!), and Netflix's Sex Education's best efforts to demystify human sexuality and fill in the gaps of our sex education, there are some very normal things about bodies that are still shrouded in mystery. One of those things on most pleasure-seekers' lists? Squirting.
"Most people have, at one point, gone to Google to ask 'how to squirt' or 'what is squirting' only to leave even more confused," says sociologist and clinical sexologist Sarah Melancon Ph.D., with The Sex Toy Collective.
That's exactly why she and sex educator Lola Dean, who holds the world record for volume squirting—seriously, 1250mL in 25 seconds—are going deep on the subject. Below, they explain what squirting is and how to make yourself squirt, plus whether it's actually possible for everyone.
So What Is Squirting, Exactly?
Before diving into what squirting is and how to squirt, let's pause for a quick anatomy lesson. "Vulva-owners have something called a urethral sponge—colloquially known as the G-spot or Skene's gland—two to three inches inside the vaginal canal along the front wall," explains Melancon. Sometimes, when vulva-owners get super-duper aroused, this fills up with fluid. When this fluid expels out of the body through the urethra, that's squirting. (More on what that fluid is, coming up.)
If you've ever found yourself watching XXX-rated footage, you might mistakenly think that every time someone squirts, fluid propels or gushes out of the body. And while that may be the case for some people, "some squirt leaks, drips, streams, or dribbles out of the body," says Jean. (Related: Is Squirting the Same As Female Ejaculation?)
Is Squirting An Orgasm?
Not exactly. While sometimes squirting is called a "squirting orgasm," Melancon says that they're two different experiences and sensations. "While squirting can occur at the exact same time as an orgasm, some people squirt before they orgasm, some after, and some without orgasm at all," she says. (See: 7 Different Types of Orgasms You Can Have)
While some people say it feels exactly like an orgasm, some say it feels similar (but different), and others don't actually notice when they're squirting at all.
For example, Sam B., 34, says she squirts nearly every single time she's masturbating but only sometimes during partnered sex. "It's different than an orgasm but still very, very pleasurable," she says. "Squirting feels like a giant wave of energy leaving my body like a release, while orgasming feels more like an eruption of energy."
Tucker N., 28, didn't know they could squirt before dating their current girlfriend. "The only reason I know when I've squirted is that my girlfriend tells me I have and the bed is a little wetter after," they say. "It happens at the same time as an orgasm for me so it's trickier to tell." (Related: I Tried Reddit's Best Sex Advice—Here's What Worked)
Just Wondering: Is Squirt Pee?
No, squirt is it not pee. "The fluid is called prostatic fluid, and has a different biochemical make-up than pee," says Melancon. While some research suggests that it contains the same compounds (urea and creatinine) as urine, having the same ingredients doesn't mean they're the same. "While pee generally has an odor that is yellow in color, squirt is usually white or clear and odorless and mostly tasteless," she adds.
There isn't an official way to tell discern between pee and squirt, but if you suspect that you're peeing during sex (due to the color/odor/or taste of the fluid being released), Melancon recommends chatting with a pelvic health specialist. Why? "If you're peeing during sex, it could be a sign of urinary incontinence," she says. Under these circumstances, it's known as coital incontinence (versus stress incontinence, when you jump, sneeze, etc.)—and one 2017 study published in the journal PLoS One suggests that peeing during penetration is somewhat common in vulva-owners (especially those who have given birth). "This condition is often linked with a too-weak or too-tight pelvic floor, which pelvic floor exercises can remedy." (See: 5 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her Pelvic Floor)
If you have urinary incontinence, it's worth getting checked out, but "even if it is pee, my question is: Pee is sterile, so really, who cares?" says Jean. "I say embrace your own bodily fluids and stop sleeping with anyone who questions, interrogates, or makes you feel bad about the sexual fluids coming out of your body."
Can Everyone Squirt?
Research shows that between one-tenth and one-half of vulva-owners report squirting over the course of their lifetime, according to the International Society for Sexual Medicine. But most sex educators and researchers suspect that number is much higher. "It is my belief that everyone with a vulva can squirt if they have a coordinated pelvic floor and a good relationship with their vulva," says Jean.
Melancon agrees that, in theory, the majority of vulva-owners should be able to learn how to squirt. But it's hard to know for sure, she says. For instance, in theory, everyone with nipples could enjoy nipple stimulation, but that's not necessarily the case, she explains. Same goes for butt stuff. (Related: Does Anal Sex Feel Good or Hurt?)
Translation: It's unknown exactly how many vulva-owners can/will/could squirt. But if you're interested, it's totally worth exploring how to squirt or how to make your partner squirt.
How to Squirt (Alone or with a Partner)
"Like orgasms, the way to achieve squirting will vary person-to-person, day-to-day," says Jean. But usually, these steps can help you learn how to squirt—or help you make your partner squirt.
1. Prep your space. Some vulva-owners can squirt a whole lot of fluid! And it's probably not going to happen unless you're totally fine getting your surroundings all wet—nothing kills the mood like worrying you'll ruin your new comforter. Melancon recommends prepping your space with a towel or Liberator Moisture-Proof Blanket. "If you're into medical play, you might also try putting down incontinence pads or puppy pads, both of which are super absorbent," she adds.
2. Get good and turned on. Like any good sexual experience, the first major step in learning how to squirt is proper foreplay (even if it's just with yourself). "Arousal and engorgement are key for squirting, so the longer you spend getting aroused, the better," says Jean. If that means letting your partner go down on you while you stimulate your nipples, do that! If that means rocking a butt plug while using a clit vibrator on yourself, do that!
3. Locate your urethral sponge. Use your own clean, well-manicured, lubed-up fingers (or have your partner use their fingers) to penetrate your vagina. When you're aroused, about two inches in, along the front wall, you might be able to feel a spongy, quarter-sized zone that's extra-sensitive to the touch. If you found it and it feels good, Jean recommends using windshield-wiper like motion along this zone. (Note: Not everyone has a super-sensitive G-spot.)
"You may have heard that 'if it feels like you have to pee, that means you're doing it right,'" says Melancon. "But that's actually not true. If you feel like you have to pee and it's uncomfortable, it means you weren't aroused enough before trying to stimulate your G-spot." In this case, return to step 2 for a hot minute (or ten!). (Related: Why Do I Feel Like I Need to Pee During Sex?)
4. Let a squirt sex toy help. The G-spot generally responds well to firm pressure, according to Melancon, so this kind of stimulation can potentially help you squirt. Metal G-spot wands like the nJoy Pure Wand (Buy It, $125, babeland.com) and Le Wand Bow, (Buy It, $125, lewand.com) work well. (In fact, I've written previously about how much I love the nJoy Pure Wand.) You might also test out one of these sex educator recommended G-spot vibrators.
5. Touch your clit. Fun fact: You don't need internal stimulation to make yourself squirt, says Jean, who recommends experimenting with clit suction toys, such as the Womanizer Premium (Buy It, $199, babeland.com), Satisfyer Pro 2 (Buy It, $50, babeland.com), or WeVibe Melt (Buy It, $149, babeland.com). "These toys stimulate the clitoris without touching it directly, which can be uncomfortable for some. The G-Spot is part of the clitoris after all, which means the G-spot will be indirectly stimulated," she says.
5. Do what feels good! "When it comes time for the actual squirt to happen, you need to do whatever is best for you whether that's a mouth, toy, hand, penis, or dildo," says Jean. However, she warns that sometimes, if there's something (like said hand or toy) blocking the urethra, it will block the squirt from coming out. At this point she recommends, "Do something you equally enjoy that won't get in the way of release."
What If You Didn't Squirt?
NBD! The ~goal~ of exploring whether or not you can squirt isn't to squirt. Rather, the goal is to enjoy your body and learn what new kinds of sensations feel good.
So if learning how to squirt is all you hoped it would be: Hooray! You found something new you can enjoy. If urethral sponge stimulation felt good but didn't make you squirt, that's great too. Heck, even if internal stimulation *didn't* feel all that great for you that's okay, too—you're one step closer to knowing exactly what your body likes.
"It's fun to try new techniques and see what you respond well to," says Melancon. "But it's not fun at all to put pressure on yourself to have a particular type of sexual response."