Whether you’re just FWB, still in the honeymoon phase, or have been together for years, these dirty "Would You Rather" questions will help you learn more about one another’s desires. 

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50+ Sexual 'Would You Rather' Questions to Ask Your S.O.
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There are a lot (and I mean a lot) of ways to learn about a current or potential partner and their desires. Having a one-on-one convo in a safe, neutral space (think: on your shared couch before bingeing Bridgerton to prep for season two) is always a good idea. But a heart-to-heart sit-down like such is just one of the many methods for fostering an open dialogue about fantasies, emotions, likes and dislikes, and more with your sexual partner(s).

"Maintaining a healthy sex life requires ongoing conversations about sex," says Megan Harrison, L.M.F.T, a relationship therapist and founder of Couples Candy, a project that helps foster successful relationships. "Couples that report having healthy sex lives are in fact the ones more comfortable talking with their partners about sex!" (Related: How to Build Intimacy with Your Partner)

But talking about sex isn't always the easiest task — whether it's someone you've been with for one night, one year, or what feels like a lifetime. After all, allowing yourself to be completely vulnerable when chatting about sex can be quite the challenge in a culture that still regards sex as taboo. Sound familiar? Then playing sex-related question games can make for a fabulous opportunity to spark an otherwise difficult convo.

Enter: "Would You Rather."

"Would You Rather" isn't just an icebreaker, but rather a tool for those who might struggle with verbalizing their sexual needs and wants, according to Laurène Dorléac, CEO and co-founder of Climax, an educational video series that teaches vulva owners how to own their pleasure. "It's not always easy to unveil one's feelings because it means taking the risk to be vulnerable," notes Dorléac. "But remember, vulnerability is a form of courage — it is not a weakness!" (See also: What It Really Means to Have Sexual Chemistry with Someone)

Also, know that it doesn't matter where you are in your relationship journey together, there's always more to learn.

"Whether the intimate relationship is brand-new or decades have passed since the first sexual encounter, there's always an opportunity for couples to become more in tune with their partner's desires," explains Diana L. Bitner, M.D., an ob-gyn and resident sexual health expert for self-care gift box company Urban You For Me. "Playing 'Would You Rather' can be a great way for couples to get to know each other and their sexual desires better or get reacquainted and freshen up their time together. The game does not need to last for hours. Rather, taking just 10 minutes to ask a few questions can create a sense of connection."

And the same is true for those who aren't necessarily labeled as a "couple" as well. After all, "Would You Rather" — like so many other games reminiscent of your college days (see: "Never Have I Ever") — can be a conversation starter for anyone looking to get to know someone else a little better. And when the inquiries are sexy? Well, you've got yourself a novel (and, for some, more comfortable) way to flirt with a crush, learn about a hookup's bedroom preferences, and a partner's wildest fantasies.

But before anyone starts rattling off dirty "Would You Rather" questions — and, in turn, begins opening up about sex — "both partners need to feel safe to share their needs, wants, and insecurities," says Harrison. With this in mind, players should agree to keep things judgment-free throughout the game prior to asking any sexual "Would You Rather" questions. They should also make it clear to their partner(s) — and vice versa — that they're approaching the game with an open mind and as a means to learn from one another. As Harrison points out, all parties need to agree that this is a safe space to talk honestly and openly without criticism. Shame should never be part of the equation — ever.

If you've never played "Would You Rather," know that requires a minimum of two people and, other than that, it's pretty straightforward. Whether you flip a coin or simply decide who goes first, that person will ask a question that begins with, you guessed it, "Would you rather… ?" and then they'll present two scenarios for the other player to choose from. Since this is a sexual version of the game, what you or your partner choose can be discussed and you can unpack why that particular choice was made. Then, it's the other person's turn to ask a question that presents two options — and so on and so forth for as long as you'd like.

Ready to rev up your sex convos? Here are 50+ sexual "Would You Rather" questions for couples, hookups, and, really, anyone else who wants to get to know another player (or players) more intimately — and sexually.

Oh, and if you fly through this list in just one game of dirty "Would You Rather," then consider expanding your question rolodex by purchasing a book whose pages are packed with creative convo starters. Try: such as Would You Rather? Naughty Adults Edition (Buy It, $13, target.com) or Would You Rather...? The Naughty Conversation Game for Couples (Buy It, $10, barnesandnoble.com)

Would You Rather...? The Naughty Conversation Game for Couples
$10.00

Sexual Would You Rather Questions

Would you rather…

  1. Start dressed or undressed?
  2. Do it with the lights on or lights off?
  3. Have an hour-long session with lots of foreplay or a quickie snuck in the middle of your day?
  4. Missionary or doggy style?
  5. The privacy of home or a spot outdoors?
  6. Have morning sex or nighttime sex?
  7. Experiment with hot or cold temperature play?
  8. Feathers or leather?
  9. Be sweaty after a workout or meet in the shower?
  10. Be teased orally or by touch?
  11. Talk about our fantasies or act them out?
  12. Play a submissive or a dominant role in the bedroom?
  13. Play music or porn in the background?
  14. Make romantic love or have rough sex?
  15. Use lube or spit?
  16. Talk dirty or communicate with just our bodies?
  17. Have shower sex or car sex?
  18. Send nudes or receive them?
  19. Have period sex or wait until it's over?
  20. Use a vibrator or physical touch?
  21. Masturbate alone or with each other?
  22. Feel touch at the entrance of your vagina or deep inside?
  23. Bite or be bitten?
  24. Handjob or footjob?
  25. Role-play or be ourselves?
  26. Have sex in a public bathroom or public park?
  27. Watch a sexy video or make our own?
  28. Have it kinky or vanilla?
  29. Experience stimulation with a regular rhythm or irregular rhythm?
  30. Restrain or be restrained?
  31. Use vibrators or dildos forever — if you had to choose?
  32. Have your hair pulled or your butt spanked?
  33. Give oral sex or receive oral sex?
  34. Be handcuffed or blindfolded?
  35. Have direct or indirect clitoral stimulation?
  36. Peg or be pegged?
  37. Have a synchronized breath or alternative breath?
  38. Have one amazing orgasm or several just "OK" orgasms in a row?
  39. Enjoy cunnilingus or analingus?
  40. Engage in 69 or take turns?
  41. Have a threesome or an orgy?
  42. Swallow or spit?
  43. Incorporate whipped cream or chocolate?
  44. Use a remote control sex toy at a party or a restaurant?
  45. Be caught having sex or catch someone else having sex?
  46. Receive dirty words or sexy photos?
  47. On the kitchen table or the kitchen floor?
  48. Have a finger or butt plug during anal play?
  49. Suck fingers or suck toes?
  50. Go fast or slow?
  51. Go to a sex club or stay home just the two of us?