Keep the party going—and the costumes on—after the party with these tips for sexy Halloween role-play.

By Gigi Engle and Charlotte Hilton Andersen
Updated October 17, 2019
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Who says Halloween can't be spooky and ~sexy~ this year? It's time to make this holiday all about getting tricks and treats. (Sorry, had to.)

TBH, Halloween is the ultimate time to get freaky in the bedroom and try some new things. Why? Halloween is the one time of year when dressing up becomes the center of the day. Halloween sex is an excuse to get really wild and finally do that role play you've been fantasizing about.

Why do people love role play? It's an excuse to be someone entirely new for the night. You can explore desires you've only ever thought about.

It's a literal fact that people LOVE dressing up. Don't believe it? Sixty percent of people surveyed by Match.com said wearing a costume made them feel more confident sexually. "Role-playing is a novelty and anything new amps up the dopamine in the brain," explains Helen Fisher, Ph.D., Match.com's Chief Scientific Advisor and a biological anthropologist. (Just maybe skip the colored Halloween contacts.)

If you're wondering how to amp up your Halloween sex this year, we have you covered. Here's how to make Halloween role-play sex super fun—and not at all scary.

Figure out your fantasies.

The first key thing is figuring out what kind of role play would be a turn on to you. Maybe the sexy handyperson coming to fix the "leaky pipes?" Perhaps you've always had a thing for your boss and would love to do an employer/employee workplace scene? Or perhaps the domination and submission featured in Fifty Shades got you thinking about how you could incorporate BDSM into the bedroom? It is Halloween, so maybe there's a Halloween sex scene you'd want to try? (Vampire sex is HOT. And we're not just talking about period sex. Ha.) Think on it and write down your ideas.

Have a chat about fantasies you share.

Once you have a list, get your partner involved. Invite them to make a sexual fantasy bucket list and then switch. Choose a few of the fantasies you'd be willing to try from the other person's selection. This gives you an opportunity to share your desires without fear of rejection.

The lists don't get you out of talking, though; all good role-playing starts with a conversation. Fisher recommends talking in any place where you won't feel pressure to act on it at that moment. You don't want to bring up fantasies with a partner mid-sex. This can create an awkward moment for both of you.

When chatting, be open and invite your partner to do the same. Sharing isn't easy. It's OK to acknowledge how scary this is for both of you (no pun intended). It's an adventure and you're both here, willing to explore. That's an awesome first step. (Related: These Are the 14 Best Vibrators to Use with a Partner)

Set boundaries.

Once you hone in on a fantasy you want to try, set clear boundaries that you both agree to follow. If you're going to try some light bondage, think about the kind of bondage you'd be comfortable trying. Maybe you're OK with wrists, but not feet, or maybe a simple blindfold is all you'd like to try.

Be clear and open with each other about what you will and won't do, says Fisher. Set a safe word that indicates you'd like to take a break from the action and reconnect. Choose something non-sexual. (The easiest method is the "traffic light system:" Green means go, yellow means slow down and take a break, red means stop.)

Remember that this is a judgement-free zone. Sex is vulnerable for everyone—so both of you should come to this experience with empathy and a willingness to learn. (P.S. If you want to add a toy, read: How to Introduce Sex Toys Into Your Relationship)

Prepare for the night with a little pre-role play foreplay.

A little DM of a long, blonde wig, pair of fishenets, a fireperson's hat, stripper heels, or some latex doctor gloves can go a long way when it comes to building anticipation.

You'll not only get your partner's juices flowing for the evening of sexual exploration, but you'll give them a chance to get into "character" and start fantasizing about the evening. It can be helpful to "act out" a roleplay scene over text. That way it feels like you're getting a bit of experience before trying it out IRL.

Make each other feel sexy.

Look, we all get nervous before trying something new during sex. It's nerve-wracking. No one wants to be laughed at, you know? Fisher says a key point to any healthy sexual relationship is to keep the compliments flowing on both sides. Encourage your partner by telling them what you love and how much it turns you on.

Another thing to think about: Sometimes sex IS silly and it is OK to laugh. If you're having a good time and enjoying yourself, that is what's important. Roleplay is funny, silly, hot, sexy, and often super weird. Nothing is ever going to follow a strict script so don't put so much pressure on yourselves. Have fun with it! (And don't forget the lube!)

Check in after you play.

Reconnecting after sex is over is hugely important. Post-sex feelings can stir up everything from new fantasies you'd like to explore, to boundaries you didn't know you had, to post-sex shame you weren't expecting.

You want to figure out what was working for your boo (Halloween puns on puns) and what wasn't. This will help you reconnect both as a couple and decompress from the excitement of the Halloween roleplay fun.

Once you start talking about what was working for you … you might just end up with enough roleplay scene ideas to get you all the way through the winter. (Not feeling the role play? Give tantric sex a try instead.)

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